February 18, 2005

Love & dating...30

As a matter of fact, I used to think that when someone asks 'how's your day?' at the close of every day, he's being superficial and boring. But once, I had the time to reflect what is it about a relationship that keeps it going. I realised the answer can be as simple as taking the effort to ask another person how is his/her day. It's one of the things I missed in the initial stage of picking myself up from a break up. I got off from work, wanting to whine about my day, or marvel about my day to someone and I found no one to share it with.

That was when I decided that having someone ask 'how's your day?' is a pretty romantic thing. Hey, do you really think that the person who asked you truly wants to know how your day went? Sometimes, the every day can get so mundane that there really is nothing much to differ today from yesterday. So, why bother?

Well, it's a good start to any conversation. hehe...

Knowing myself, if I want to talk about my day, boy, would I talk about it incessantly! So, it's something like a 'bad' start to a conversation if you asked that question when I am in the mood to reflect on my day. You would probably finish ironing your clothes while I ramble on. And you'd probably be thinking about what colour to wear tomorrow while I go on and on about life's plans for me in the last 24 hours.

I have learnt to appreciate that. The 'not listening' part of listening. We often take that for granted. The fact that the other person bothered to hold onto the phone while trying to listen to you. 'Trying' cos some people are just no good in multi-tasking. Hey, a worse scene could be, the other person could have gone on and on about himself!

Besides, many times, I really only wanted to make empty remarks and inconsequential observations. Nothing intelligent, please. I'd like to reserve my brain energy for my students. So, I don't mind if he thinks I'm just making noise. But, at least there is an outlet.

Hence, I don't mind if it sounds superficial and boring. I think it's important that we make that small effort to share our day. I apologise if I sometimes neglect to return the question. But, he can be assured I'm all ears if he starts grumbling incessantly.

Listening and sharing. That's the whole point of human relationships, right?

So... how's your day today?

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 18:50